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  • Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.
  • Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
  • Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.
  • Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
  • Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.
  • Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.
  • Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
  • Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass.
  • Yo mama's so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.
  • Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
  • Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
  • Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
  • Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.
  • Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
  • Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
  • Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat butt out of the way.
  • Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.
  • Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies.
  • Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
  • Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
  • Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
  • Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts.
  • Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that says: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
  • Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."
  • Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
  • Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
  • Yo mama's so fat, but I did her anyway.
  • Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
  • Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.
  • Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
  • Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her butt has it's own congressman.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
  • Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."
  • Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.
  • Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I shot the old hag and Crisco came out.
  • Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
  • Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
  • Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!
  • Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.
  • Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
  • Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
  • Yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat butt.
  • Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.
  • Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.
  • Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
  • Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
  • Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
  • Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What y'all eating? I'll try it!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Daisy Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she don't wear a G-String, she wears an A, B, C, D, E, F, G-String.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-gosh-it's-coming-towards-us!
  • Yo mama's so fat, she gets her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."
  • Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"
  • Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn."
  • Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Michilen man on steroids.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she needs a road map to find her butt.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she plays pool with the planets.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it up!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."
  • Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Sorry, we don't do livestock."
  • Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the **** off."
  • Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds.
  • Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
  • Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama."
  • Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.
  • Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
  • Yo mama's so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat buffet.
  • Yo mama's so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops.
  • Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.
  • Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
  • Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a Chevy.
  • Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my back on the light bulb.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when it says all-u-can-eat it still ain't enough.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she went to wash herself she had to peel too many fat rolls and said "**** It."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ***, she has friends come help.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ***, she has to make two trips.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the school bus.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!"
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her butt back in the water.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the Rose Parade they thought she was a float.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them.
  • Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost.
  • Yo mama's so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead.
  • Yo mama's so fat, you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor.
  • Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her butt and passed out.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, her **** give sour milk.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up and talked to her and she gave me an ear infection.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she breeds crabs.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs alive.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
  • Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
  • Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
  • Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
  • Yo mama's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.
  • Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.
  • Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the old hag died.
  • Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
  • Yo mama's so old, she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.
  • Yo mama's so old, she drove a chariot to high school.
  • Yo mama's so old, she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.
  • Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
  • Yo mama's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
  • Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.
  • Yo mama's so old, she used to party with the Flintstone's.
  • Yo mama's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
  • Yo mama's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
  • Yo mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
  • Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
  • Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levi's?"
  • Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen her since.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Fruit Loop.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from her first job.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she got shot running to the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she married Yo daddy.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she put a peephole in a glass door.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gum ball to come out.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I want to know".
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Thailand was a men's clothing store.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the Internet was something you catch fish with.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she took lessons for a player piano.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Coke.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to insult you and started with "Yo mama's so..."
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to melt squeeze Parkay.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
  • <
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said "I think I'll take the physical challenge."
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre to forget about him.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the Gap to get her teeth fixed.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her butt before she took a crap.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she wouldn't know up from down if she had three guesses.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, she snuck on the bus and paid to get off.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she said "Ok, but what's the teams?"
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when I gave her a dollar and asked for a quater back, she gave me Dan Marino.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like this... Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled Macy's wrong."
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said "Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone."
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court," she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke."
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.
  • Yo mama's so stupid,she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears.
  • Yo mama's so stupid, you can tell when she's used the computer because there's White Out all over the screen.
  • Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
  • Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
  • Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Dang, how'd you get out so fast."
  • Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
  • Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a crap wagon.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the crap?!?!"
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed her dog biscuits.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
  • Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her butt, then her face, and said "Twins!"
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"
  • Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border. 
  • Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like crap 'cause he'd rather kiss her butt.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.
  • Yo mama's so ugly, your real pops could only be a freakin' dog.