Dont Nuke Lambs!!!

Hello everybody this is your good friend and your good buddy this is Jeff Wane!!!
If your wondering where DNL came from you can read the story that I wrote below.
If you want to e-mail me my e-mail adress is dnljeff@gmail.com or you can IM me with
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"The Lamb Exploder"
By Jeff Wane

One day, when I was livin on a farm, with my parents and many of the farm
animals, I was once called upon to go out and sell our lambs in town for money.
A weird-looking man came up to me, offering beans that were said to be MAGICAL!
"No way!" I said. "I'm not that stupid!" "Ain't no such thing as dern dang magic beans!" 
"You retard!" I continued my way to town.

  I succeeded in selling two of the three lambs, but that was OK, I thought,
because we would still need one for meat and other things.  While I was buying
things in town, I let the lamb graze in the wide open fields bordering the
stores, which, unknown to me, was near a nuclear plant, emanating radiation
into the fields.

  Soon it was time to come home, which I did, and as I led the lamb back, I
noticed something unusual about it, but I couldn't tell exactly what it was.
Funny, the sun set over an hour ago, but it still seems bright.  Anyways, it's
a beautiful red sunset.

  That night I slept soundly, and when the next morning came, and I went out to
feed and water the lamb, there was an odd look in the lamb’s eyes!  Suddenly, it
came up to me and bit me, and in that next second it exploded!

  When I finally regained consciousness, I looked around me and saw a terrible
sight.	The farm, and everything on it, was devastated.  Crops were still
burning from the explosion, and the bodies of my parents sat smoking in the
ashes.	As I looked over the farm, the house, and the bodies, I wept.  I was
scared and I didn't know what to do.  "Why them?" I thought.  "Why not me?
What spared my life?  What did I do to deserve this?"

  Mad at myself and the world, I felt I had to strike out at something to
relieve my anger.  I hit a part of dead tree that was torn off in the
explosion.  The result?  I struck oil.	Puzzled by this and everything that
happened that day, I started to run, and fast.	After about 30 seconds and 3/4
of a mile, I saw, in the distance, a lamb explosion. And then I wonderd
did I do that? So ran to the place where I was selling the lambs before.
Then I found someone that I sold a lamb to and I said "let me try something". 
So I told everybody to get back then I thought of that lamb 
exploding then BANG a huge explosion happened! There was nothing left of the lamb. 
Then I thought, "I must of got the powers when that lamb bit me". Then I went to try my 
powers again and everybody started to scream "DON'T NUKE THE LAMBS!" and then suddenly, 

as if in realization of what had happened to me, I thought, "I now posses strange
powers", and whenever I use them, a lamb explodes.  I can use my powers to help
people, and use them I will.  For I am...

The Lamb Exploder!
                        
  ...and no one is inferior to me.